Playground as High School

Anybody who’s been bored enough to read through my (limited) archives has probably noticed one of the several times I’ve mentioned my age. I’m 22. Young, yes. You probably noticed my daughter’s age as being 2 years and if you do some math that means I was 20 when she was born. (Yeah…I didn’t say difficult math). I became pregnant when I was 19, and Eders was born a few months after my 20th birthday.

My age has never been a factor in any of my decisions. I know that I am physically a young person, but I also know that mentally, I’m a whole lot older. I’ve never gotten along very well with people my age and probably never will. While that never used to bother me, I’m noticing more and more that I feel…sort of lonely. Most of my high school/college friends stopped calling when I got pregnant, and that stung a lot more than I’d expected it to. It bothered me that people only wanted to be my friend when that meant concerts, myspace-style photo shoots, and shopping sprees and not hanging out at the house with me while I breastfeed a newborn and change diapers. I get that my lifestyle has changed. I’m a homebody, and I’d prefer to stay at home with my baby then go out and get drunk, but I’ve always been that way, you know? What’s changed, other than I have a child now? I’m not a different person, I’m the same Amber I’ve always been, I just get to add “mommy” to the list of names I respond to.

Bummed out that I’d lost 87% of my social circle, I thought I’d try to make some “mommy friends”. How well did THAT work out…let’s see…I have none, so badly. I can’t seem to relate to any of the parents I’ve met. And they can’t really relate to me either. And why should they? I’m frickin’ weird, and I know that. I get told fairly often that I’m intimidating, which I think is crazy. Who’s going to be intimidated by me? I’m a little 5’2’’ elf of a person. Sure I’ve got tattoos and am probably wearing big ol’ ass-kicking boots, but if you’ve ever heard me speak, you know I’m as bubbly as any high school cheerleader ever was. And then I figured it out. To the average parent I see around town, I’m young. I’m TOO young. My lifestyle is too old for my old friends, and too young for my potential new ones. I have no intention of changing who I freaking AM just to make friends, though. The Interwebs will find my particular brand of quirk interesting, right?!

Right…..?

*tumbleweed*

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