Archive for the ‘ Life and Life Things ’ Category

Cast Of Characters

Considering that this blog is BRAND-SPANKING-NEW, I figured I’d let you in on the cast.

UmbahME. My name is Amber. I think I’m cool, but I’m actually not. I like to make stupid faces and have trouble looking at a camera straight-on. I photograph “Aggressive”, but as you will soon know, I’m actually “obnoxiously bubbly”.
EdersEDEN. EdenMonster is my amazing daughter. She’s turning 2 on July 30th and that’s the craziest thing ever. She’s gifted intellectually and, obviously, strikingly beautiful.

JeffJeffJEFF. Usually referred to as “Jeffers”, this is my boyfriend. He’s not Eden’s biological father, but he’s been around for most of her life, so he might as well be. He doesn’t let me take pictures of him, so I had to dig a cute one out of the annals of his facebook.

jurumJEROME. This is Eden’s biological dad. His involvement in her life is…flakey at best. But he deserves an entry. You’ll be hearing of him.

So that’s us. We love you already.


Someone Stop The Madness!

Seriously, what are we doing?
The First Lady’s new mission is to obliterate childhood obesity, the government wants to limit our sodium intake, they want to take the toys out of Happy Meals! Our country is getting fat and by god, the Federal Government is going to fix it!

Yes, childhood obesity IS a problem. This is the first generation of children to have a lower life expectancy than their parents. But is government intervention really the answer? Everyday, kids in america are being made aware that they are fat! And that the most important thing is to be thin! Younger and younger children are entering treatment for eating disorders, and every day kids are being constantly bombarded by negative body image messages. Children don’t understand that french fries are unhealthy because they’re high in saturated fat and too much saturated fat causes our arteries to become blocked and that causes heart attacks and strokes when we’re older. Kids don’t think about health, they think about size. French fries don’t clog our arteries — They make us Fat.

The government shouldn’t be taking the toys out of Happy Meals; the parents should stop buying them every day. McDonald’s isn’t the problem. A kid can eat a Happy Meal every now and again, and if a kid wants more than that, it’s up to the parents to set limits and say “no”. We need to be good role models. If we want our kids to be healthy and active, then WE need to be be healthy and active. “Do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t cut it. I’m extremely aware of my attitudes about food and exercise and the way that influences my daughter. She notices EVERYTHING, so I am very conscious of the messages I send to her.

It’s not up to th e government to keep our kids healthy. As parents, that’s our job. We need to own it.

autobiographical diarrhea

* My name is Amber
* My birthday is March 31st…write it on your calendar. I’d love a pony.
* I have a toddler. Her name is Eden and she’s cooler than you.
* I’m very tired.
* My caffeine addiction has reached absurd levels.
* I have a team of doctors working ’round the clock to cure me.
* I’m in a committed, but long-distance relationship with a fledgling rock star.
* This is his band.
* I live in Iowa.
* I am recovering from restricting type Bulimia Nervosa
* Every day is a challenge, but I make it through
* Along with my eating disorder, I fight self-injury. It’s been almost three years since my last injury.
* I’m SO proud of my success.
* My daughter inspires me everyday.
* I’m lactose intolerant.
* I love mountain biking.
* And pilates.
* I dye my hair all the time, but it’s naturally strawberry blonde.
* I love to make crafty things.
* And to bake.
* Because I’m Martha Stewart in combat boots.
* I have apiphobia.
* Fuck bees.
* I love to paint.
* So does EdenMonster.
* I’m a big nerd.
* Once, I had a crush on a chiropractor.
* I drive a silver car, because I’m cool.